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Hallway of Shreie by ~DocAwsome:iconDocAwsome:



The others died many a year ago, and then I was left all alone to wallow in my own sorrow, and fear. I am forsaken in the hotel hallway, of rotten boards and imprisonment. It was my home and jail cell, my mother and my tormentor, my heaven and my purgatory.  The hotel was built to protect us four from what haunted our dreams.
The first was Abandoned; he was left in a dumpster to die by his mother. As the sunset and the moon rose into sky, he would scream for hours with no one to help him.  The door for him to open had his name painted in the blood of his own father. The darkness of the room dragged him in and killed him. His own fear of the dark had killed him by the shere force of it.
The second one was a very lovely lady, Unmarried she waited for her knight in shining armor to come, but he never did. Her door had a wedding dress nailed to it, old and infested with maggots; it was hers. On the outside if these walls she would wear it every day. Her bugbear sat and waited for her; that girl’s father sat in rocking chair and shouted the words of pain, and torture. Anything that he would say would cut her like a million blades.
The third and final one was Isolated left the safety of the room at the end of the hallway. It was his choice to conceal himself from the outside world. He stayed in that room until he came to join us in the room. Their claws scratched Isolated in long letters, like from the beasts that move in the shadows of the jungle. Once he saw what was in the room, he tried to run. The wires and machines pulled him in to the future, and change.
It was on this day that I would face it, it was my time. I walked down the hall. I could feel every step, like a heighten sense of everything. The dust in my lungs was dry and painful it almost hurt to breath.  Each board under my step had its own moan of protest.  And the rats in the wood work ran away from me in fear.  It was at the end of the hall way when I reached my door. Something was wrong. The spray paint on the door didn’t say my name but instead it read, alone forever.
©2008-2009 ~DocAwsome
:icondocawsome:

Author's Comments

being a alone is killer in more ways then one!

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:iconspottail:
Again, don't start sentances with 'but,' 'and,' and 'because.' Your sentance ' And the rats in the wood work ran away from me in fear.' is an example. Try combining that with the sentance before it, or take away the 'and' at the beginning. You have an unnessessary comma before 'of rotten boards and imprisonment.' Also, if you want more emphases on 'alone forever' I would put them in italics. The same goes for if you wish to emphases other words; put them in italics, bold, or underline. Mainly that depends on the type of story, but for horror I think italics is best. It tends to give it a spooky effect.

--
And this is how the world ends
And this is how the world ends
And this is how the world ends
Not with a bang, but with a whimper

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March 24, 2008
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